Sometimes, when I go to networking events, I observe people engaging in what I like to call "dueling monologues." Now, "Dueling Banjos" -- that's a great song. The problem is that there are a lot of people winging it when it comes to networking. It is a bit of a paradox, but the truth is that the best way to start building a relationship is to show interest. A good networker is like a good talk show host. Ask questions and let people talk. Here are some examples of questions to start with. Don't do one question after another -- do one or two of these questions and follow the thread of the conversation to ask more. Your questions should be open-ended, probing questions. Make it conversational and follow the thread of the discussion you find interesting -- or better yet, what they find interesting.
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Sometimes, when I go to networking events, I observe people engaging in what I like to call “dueling monologues.” Now, “Dueling Banjos” — that’s a great song. Dueling pianos, those are great music venues. Dueling monologues (prolonged dueling talks by one person at a time) — well, not so exciting.
Frankly, I don’t think most people (if any) are really interested if you ask them. The problem is that there are a lot of people winging it when it comes to networking. They attend an event and go straight into “sales mode.” They do this with someone who is also winging it which leads to the dueling monologue syndrome. This whole scenario would be pretty funny — if it weren’t actually true!!!
Unfortunately, it is true. So, the question is “How do we avoid the ‘Dueling Monologue’ Syndrome?” The answer is this:
Don’t show off, show interest.
What is the goal for your networking? If it is to build your business, then it’s all about building a relationship with people. Keep your eye on the ball. Don’t try to dazzle them with your brilliance (you can do that later). Stand out from the crowd and impress them with your genuine interest (for the record — your interest in them — not your interest in selling to them).
I understand that this feels counter-intuitive. It is a bit of a paradox, but the truth is that the best way to start building a relationship is to show interest.
A good networker is like a good talk show host. A good host asks the guest questions and gives them time to elaborate and talk. A good networker…
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